Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a feeling of emptiness and isolation. It is more than just the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected, and/or alienated from other people. Lonely people often feel empty or hollow inside.

Being alone and lonely, and even just the fear of being alone, make many people insecure, anxious and depressed.  If you fear being alone you may become over needy of other people and feel as if you must be around people at all times.  While we all, to varying degrees, need people in our life, if you feel you must have people around all the time then this need is controlling you. For instance, some people may have a tendency to talk on the phone all the time as a way to feed their anxiety.

Let’s discuss few steps to overcome fear of loneliness.

Evaluate the reason of fear:

Identify your reason for fear of loneliness – is it emotional loneliness or physical loneliness that you are worried of? Or is it something you started experiencing from any of your past broken relationship? Is there a childhood memory that comes to mind where you felt that you were left alone or abandoned? All these provide clues to where your fear came from.

Accept and get prepared to face your fear:

Understand the pros and cons of spending time alone and convince yourself the value of overcoming the fear. Slowly try exposing yourself to a lower-ranked fear. You may feel uncomfortable in first few attempts, which is normal. But in time, you will be capable of spending time alone and it teaches you more about yourself.

Find an activity that keeps you engaged:

Find and do something that you enjoy and join a social group, where you can meet many people. This will increase your chances of making many new friends. Volunteer yourself for a cause, where others can benefit from your time and skills. Apart from keeping you engaged, these acts would also give you a feel of self satisfaction and accomplishment.

Have positive visualizations:

Usually fear is associated with negative thinking. If you are always expecting bad things before they even happen and if you are always afraid of things that are going to happen, then it’s time to start visualizing positive things in life. Visualize you going confidently into situations alone and succeeding. You can use various visualization techniques to control your thought and happenings.

Practice yoga and meditation:

Relaxation and stress relieving techniques like yoga and meditation will do wonders for your ability to overcome fear. This would make you feel good about yourself. Once you start to think about yourself positively you will develop self confidence. This confidence will help you destroy the feelings of loneliness and allow you to take more risks, helping you overcome your fear of loneliness.

Seek counseling:

A therapist may be able to offer various treatment options or help create a treatment plan that will help reduce the fear and anxiety of being alone. They can help you figure out the triggering event that caused the condition to develop. Once that event is identified, work may begin to come to terms with its emotional impact.

Be grateful and embrace your loneliness:

Gratitude allows the celebration of the present by blocking toxic emotions, like resentment, regret, envy etc. It’s when you are alone; you are free of many responsibilities and can invest more time in doing and learning many things which you always wanted to pursue. So be grateful and go ahead! 🙂

 

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Marrilyn S.H. Tong
Marrilyn S.H. Tong
Marrilyn blogs about personal development and is the book author of Love Is Here: How to Find Love and Date the Perfect Man in 3 Months (or less). Marrilyn has been an entrepreneur since 2002 and throughout the years gained interests in self-development, alternative healing and hence went on to learn Reiki healing, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Life Coaching plus many other techniques. Passionate about helping people achieve their dreams, Marrilyn has helped many people to find the love of their lives, achieve their personal, business dreams and find true happiness.
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